July 10, 2005

Israeli Personal Ads

Phil Proctor, of the Firesign Theatre, has been a faithful blogger since 1996. Even he is dubious about the veracity of these, but here are some ads that supposedly appeared in Israeli papers:

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie).

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzizis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh just forget it.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan. Write.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important.